Comments on your slides

["Daniel S. Carman" <carman@jlab.org>]

Curtis,

I have looked over your latest slides and my comments are included
below.  Let me know if you have any questions.


				Regards,

					Daniel

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General: Do not forget to remove the "preliminary version" banner running
         across all of your slides.

pp.2 : Spurious "the" in the 3rd bullet.  Also remove punctuation on
       6th bullet for consistency.

pp.3 : Use ``quark-antiquark pair with a "ground-state" flux tube".

pp.5 : Include GeV units on masses and splittings.

pp.6 : The 1st sentence repeats the word "meson" unnecessarily. Also,
       what does the "L" symbol in front of the word "flux" mean on
       the UR cartoon?

pp.7 : 5th point, use "... and will exceed the highest statistics ...".

pp.9 : Use "Physics demands detection of both charged particles and
            photons"
       3rd point -- strange/awkward wording on "have very few particles
            of these particles"

pp.10 : Use "Need as good a resolution as possible ...".

pp.13 : Use "GeV" and not "Gev".  Also caps problem on "Identify".

pp.14 : Use "a 15 nb" instead of "a15 nb".

pp.17 : Caps problems in several places.

pp.18 : UR figure is hard to read due to its small size and labels.

pp.19 : Use "... in the CDC/FDC transition region ..." and also
        "... and have moderate momenta ...".

pp.20 : Top line has caps problem.  In the LL, use "Results for GEANT
        ...".

pp.21 : Caps problem at line starts in several places.

pp.22 : Lines with arrows poorly drawn.  They overlap text and each other.

pp.23 : I would not necessarily say that what you have shown can be
        called an improvement.  I would change the slide title and say
        that the length of the CDC, the FDC system z extent, and the
        FDC package positions still need to be optimized (but we have
        all the tools available to carry out this study).

pp.25 : Elton raised the question yesterday -- is it better to say lower
        momentum instead of slower and higher momentum instead of faster?

pp.27 : Arrows overlap text.  Fix "MeV" instead of "Mev".

pp.29 : LL, use "very small pion leakage into protons"

pp.30 : Use "In an 11 deg cone".  Also arrow overlaps the text.

pp.31 : Caps problem in 1st sentence.

pp.32 : use color to highlight the CD awards.

pp.33 : 1st bullet - "Overview and physics requirements".  Also there
        is an alignment problem with the names and cap use is not
        consistent.

pp.34 : 1st point - Use "exists" not "exits".
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*                                                                    *
* Dr. Daniel S. Carman                   e-mail : carman@jlab.org    *
* Staff Scientist                        office : (757)-269-5586     *
* Jefferson Laboratory                   web: www.jlab.org/~carman   *
*                                                                    *
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